It's over


Last week was, so to say, my personal apocalypse of my time on the Sonic scene, the last straw that broke the camel's back. I've decided it was best to explain my entire case and its consequences.

There was a huge incident regarding the IRC. I was currently taking a break from the scene because of some issues in the past few months (which I will come back to in a minute). I knew there was a second move of the IRC channel being planned due to some issues regarding Stormbit. A few weeks ago I had a conversation on Skype with some people involved and I gave my okay to it with a condition: We were going to stay on Stormbit until something actually happens.

Well apparently, something did happen on the very day where shit started to hit the fan, where I was away. MarkeyJester moved the channel on his own to SeanieB's server without informing me in the least. I was really, REALLY pissed off because of that, because I felt like I was stabbed in the back. "Wait for Selbi to leave and then do shit like this behind his back" is what I've thought. I was taking a break from the SONIC SCENE, not the entire internet. I was available at any time and could be contacted at any time. This was something that's important enough to ignore that break for a moment. So there I stood feeling like shit because my channel has literally been stolen without even contacting me. I was still the owner, I never elected a deputy, and I've never said that this move could be done by just anyone.

Luckily, I was able to talk to Markey the next day. We discussed the situation and we've agreed to just ignore it and count it as a thing of the past. He didn't exactly have a great year in this scene either so I could understand his behavior.


But then there was this other thing that destroyed the confidence I've built up in this scene over the past four years. Everything I've cared about in that time vanished within seconds because of the action of two people. Well, actually just one, because it was actually the actions of person two which resulted from the actions of person one.

At first we have tristanseifert, who said two simple words that made me turn off my brain and just no longer give a fuck about anything, "Fuck Selbi". Although in most other situations I would've just ignored it as pretty much any other jokish or otherwise "lolwhatever" insult, this one in particular was problematic for two reasons: He talked behind my back while I was away, and I had a very hard time already because of the entire move that no one told me about anyway.

So I let my rage out, I tried to release my anger as much as I could, not giving two fucks about it. Well, unfortunately there was this one person who strew salt in the wound with the possibly worst decision I've ever seen: SeanieB decided to suspend me for one week.

Let me get this right off my head, for I had to hold it back for 7 days: You are an idiotic admin, Seanie.

I haven't done anything in the past 3-4 years. The last incident that got me banned/suspended was some post-shitstorm regarding Sonic 1: Project 255, and that was in 2008 or 2009, can't remember exactly. And now, as a staffer, being on a break to deal with some personal life shit, who's IRC channel has been literally stolen without getting informed whatsoever, seeing someone talk behind his back in the most unfitting time possible, releasing my anger, got me suspended for a week? I am sorry, but just what the fuck was wrong with you?

There were many ways of dealing with that situation, Seanie. One would've been simply closing the topic again and saying "We're done here". Others would've been simply contacting me via PM and sorting out the situation. No, instead you decided to suspend me for a week. At the point of that happening I was merely confused and decided to join that new IRC to ask why.

And what wonderful answer awaits me there? "You are a staffer and have to act like a mature role model to our member base, you made us other staffers look pathetic." I don't even believe how pathetic THAT sounds. If because of an incident as a staffer you feel it's appropriated to suspend me for a week, something is very wrong with your brain, because I suspect your idea was to shut me up and control the damage you've done by pointing the guilt to someone else. I've seen a lot of terrible admin decisions in the past years, but never before such a terrible and thoughtlessly one.

Tristan sent a PM to me the next day explaining his case, but I wasn't to reply due to the suspention. I understood him though, just like I understood Markey's case, leaving every pointer directed at you, Seanie. The difference here is that you have no excuse, if you had one you wouldn't have done this shit in the first place and you would've done it already.


So, why am I posting this publicly? Quite simple actually, Seanie told me on IRC to think about what I've done. I've now had a week to think about that and came to a conclusion: I want the world to see what damage Seanie has done to me. He destroyed my entire faith for this scene in seconds, made me drop any plans for future hacking projects (especially one that was already in the works), and made me just no longer wanting to show any responsibility for a community where this kid has something to say.

So, I'm officially retreating as both, channel owner of the IRC (which is a paradox actually since it has already been stolen from me) and my staff-membership on SSRG. I just want to stick around as normal Pro User.

Nothing keeps me in this place anymore, and seeing how the decision of one admin can destroy everything for a single person within seconds, it's pretty obvious that the scene is starting to fall apart and only a matter of time until it destroys itself. When that happens I will be there, holding a box of popcorn in my hands.


Regardless of Seanie actually being the main responsibility for it, he is the guy that ultimately made me think about this and now there's no turning back. I've lost my last piece of faith for this scene, which was already pretty problematic, because this year was nothing but pain. There was one incident regarding the IRC after the next, there were shitstorms with SAGE and the Hacking Contest, there was shit with my hack, there was shit with friends. There was shit with pretty much anything where something could possibly go wrong. I just can't and don't want to take it anymore.

It's pretty disappointing that my time here has to end like this, but I would rather end my time being here in a rapid and honest way than forcing myself to stay here even though I don't want to.


I would like to take this opportunity to give some thanks to the positive things this scene has done to me. For once, it's the obvious fact that with it I've learned English to a level where I can already "think" in it and have normal conversations with native English speakers. Still not perfect, but at least good enough to get an A+ degree in school. Secondly, I would like to thank people for teaching me the logic of programming. ASM68k is an outdated language that no one will ever need in the future, but I like being able to understand "why" things work now. And that's not even to mention my own hack, which received a lot of positive feedback and gave me the feeling that my work is not wasted but actually gives me some reward. Finally, I'd like to thank all my friends I've had a great time with over the past 4 years. You know who you are.

So then, that's it for me. I will stay around for like one more week, if only to answer questions to this topic, but as soon as interests drops to zero I'm gone.

-Selbi